Summer Plans?

If you’d like five points of extra credit, please send me an e-mail with a good paragraph, telling me what you’ll be doing this summer. For another five points, explain (in your own words) where the word “jumbo” came from.

Remember, all assignments are due next Friday, June 3, although we will continue to have Questions of the Day in the following week.

Word of the Day: jumbo

Pronunciation: (JUHM-boh)

noun: Something very large.

adjective: Very large.

ETYMOLOGY: The word was popularized after Jumbo, a very large elephant exhibited by circus showman P.T. Barnum. Jumbo was captured in Africa, sold to a zoo in Paris, traded to London Zoo, and again sold to Barnum who took him to New York. The elephant died in a collision with a locomotive in Canada. The origin of the name jumbo is not confirmed. It’s probably from the second element of mumbo jumbo or from another word in an African language. Earliest documented use: 1823.

Joke of the Day

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office.

The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, “What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?”

The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.”

The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll never be seen around here again.”

The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question.

The applicant replies, “Uh, you’ve got no ears.”

The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he’ll never get a job with his company.

As he is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, “Listen man, whatever you do, don’t say he hasn’t got any ears. He’s so touchy with the ear thing.”

“Okay,” said man #3 on his way into the office.

Once inside, he is told, “Name the first thing you notice when you look at me.”

The guy answers, “That’s easy, you wear contacts.”

The interviewer was flabbergasted, “How on earth did you know that, son?”

“What? Are you stupid? You can’t wear glasses, you’ve got no ears!”

Extra Credit

It’s time for another extra credit opportunity. Here it is: For 5 points, look up on the Moodle how many extra credit points you already have, and e-mail me that number. Thanks.

Word of the Day: poetaster

Pronunciation: (POH-it-as-tuhr)

noun: An inferior poet.

ETYMOLOGY: From Latin poetaster, from Latin poeta (poet), from Greek poietes (poet, maker), from poiein (to make) + -aster (pejorative suffix). Earliest documented use: 1601.

Joke of the Day

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him and asked, “Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?”

The surprised patient said, “Why doctor, it wasn’t all that bad this time!”

The dentist replied, “There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock train.”

Module 8 and STAR Testing

Module 8, our last module of the year, opens this week. Because of your STAR testing, no assignments are due until the end of the week – although we will still have the Question of the Day every weekday. Module 7 is still open for half-credit. Module 6 is closed.

I will probably have Office Hours on Friday morning again instead of Thursday. More details later.

Word of the Day: bootstrap

Pronunciation: (BOOT-strap)

verb: To help oneself with one’s own initiative and no outside help.

noun: Unaided efforts.

adjective: Reliant on one’s own efforts.

ETYMOLOGY: While pulling on bootstraps may help with putting on one’s boots, it’s impossible to lift oneself up like that. Nonetheless the fanciful idea is a great visual and it gave birth to the idiom “to pull oneself up by one’s (own) bootstraps”, meaning to better oneself with one’s own efforts, with little outside help. It probably originated from the tall tales of Baron Münchausen who claimed to have lifted himself (and his horse) up from the swamp by pulling on his own hair.
In computing, booting or bootstrapping is to load a fixed sequence of instructions in a computer to initiate the operating system. Earliest documented use: 1891.

Joke of the Day

A noted heart surgeon was having a formal party. Shortly before the guests were to begin arriving, he was told that all the bathrooms were backed up and not flushing.

Quickly, he called a 24-hour plumber listed in the phone book. The plumber arrived quickly and within 15 minutes told the surgeon that all was well.

The plumber gave his bill to the heart surgeon, and the surgeon exclaimed, “$900! You were only here 15 minutes! I’m a heart surgeon and even I can’t charge that much.”

The plumber quietly replied, “Neither could I when I was a heart surgeon.”

Last Week for Module 7

This is the last week for Module 7. You may turn in work for full credit through this Sunday, May 1. After that, you may continue to turn in Module 7 work for half-credit.

You may continue to turn in Module 6 work for half-credit through Sunday. After that, Module 6 will close. Module 8 will open next Monday, May 2. That will be the last module of the year. We will continue to have the SAT Question of the Day next week when you are doing STAR testing.

Easy Extra Credit: What’s missing from this blog entry?

Joke of the Day

A man charged into the jewelry shop, slammed his fists angrily on the showcase, removed a wristwatch from his pocket, and shook it under the nose of the owner.

“You said this watch would last me a lifetime,” he yelled.

“Yeah,” admitted the owner. “But you looked pretty sick the day you bought it.”

The Joke Blog

Before the start of spring break, I want to empty my e-mail inbox of Jokes of the Day and dump them in this blog. If you’d like 5 points of extra credit, read them all and pick your favorite, then e-mail me and tell me why it’s your favorite.

——-

“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked another.

“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”

——–

A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

“My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”

———-

New customer to Tech Support: “It says  ‘Hit any key,’ and when I do that nothing happens.”

Tech Support: :Can you try again and tell me what happens?”

Customer: “I tried, but nothing.”

Tech Support: “What key did you hit?”

After a moment,  the customer replied, “Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.”

———

A teacher saw a boy entering the classroom – his hands were dirty.

She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”

Smiling, the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”

 

End of 12-Week Grading Period

This is the last week of the 12-week grading period. I will figure your grades next Tuesday, April 19, based on assignments due through April 17 (M7-7 for Grade 10 and M7-6 for Grades 11-12). So, please get everything in by next Monday night. You can still work on Module 6 assignments (for half-credit) through May 1.

If you’d like 5 points of extra credit, find the website of the Fresno State theater department. Find what play they’ll be doing in May, and e-mail the information (including the name of the playwright) to me.

Word of the Day: elbow grease

Pronunciation: (EL-bo grees)

noun: Hard work; vigorous exertion

ETYMOLOGY: Originally elbow grease was a metaphor for manual labor, as in elbow grease is the best wax for polishing furniture. Now in an extended sense it can refer to any effort, physical or mental. Earliest documented use: 1672.

Joke of the Day

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

“Give me your money,” he demanded.

Indignant, the man replied, “You can’t do this – I am a United States congressman!”

“In that case,” replied the mugger, “give me MY money.”

New Literary Term

An 11th-grader recently told me about a literary term that I’d never heard before: “litote.” Ever since, I’ve been asking people if they know the word, and the only person I’ve found who does is a college English professor.

So, for 10 points of extra credit, look it up and e-mail me the definition and at least one example. Please write your own example. You have to convince me that you understand what it means.

Another Word of the Day: gazette

Pronunciation: (guh-ZET)

noun: 1. A newspaper (now mostly used in the name of newspapers, for example, the Montreal Gazette).
2. An official journal of an organization, for example, a government journal listing appointment, promotions, etc.

Joke of the Day

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times. At the ninth time, he asks the little old lady why they don’t eat the almonds themselves. She replies that it is not possible, because with their old teeth, they are not able to chew them. “Why do you buy them then?” he asks, puzzled. And the old lady answers, “We just love the chocolate around them.”

Module 7

Tenth-graders may now start work on Module 7. You may also continue to work on Module 6, for half-credit.

11th-12th graders may continue to work on Module 6 through today (Tuesday) for full credit. Also, today I will e-mail you an additional assignment on “The Crucible.” It will be due on Thursday. (And it won’t take long.) Also, remember that “The Crucible” is still playing at the Second Space Theater in Fresno, through April 17. I hope that some of you will go.

Word of the Day: laryngopharyngeal

PRONUNCIATION: (luh-ring-goh-fuh-RIN-jee-uhl)

adjective: Of or relating to the larynx (the part of the throat holding the vocal cords) and pharynx (the part of the throat that leads from the mouth to the esophagus)

ETYMOLOGY: From Latin larynx, from Greek larynx + Latin pharynx, from Greek pharynx (throat). Earliest documented use: 1872.

Joke of the Day

Three old pilots are walking on the ramp.

The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”

The second says, “No, its Thursday!”

The third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”

Extra Credit Opportunity

Here’s a chance for an easy 5 points of extra credit: Read today’s Word of the Day, and e-mail me the word (spelled correctly) and the definition.

Word of the Day: triskaidekaphobia

Pronunciation: (tris-ky-dek-uh-FO-bee-uh)

noun: Fear of the number 13.

ETYMOLOGY: From Greek treiskaideka (thirteen), from treis (three) + kai (and) + deka (ten) + phobia (fear). Earliest documented use: 1911.

Joke of the Day

A man was checking into a hotel when he saw a golden retriever sitting on a rug near the hotel elevator.

Talking to the man behind the desk, he asked, “Does your dog bite?”

The attendant said, “No, he doesn’t.”

But as the man let his hand down to pat the dog, it bit his hand and held on so tightly that the man had to throw him across the room.

Returning to the desk, the man said, “I thought you said that your dog didn’t bite.”

He directed the attendant’s attention to the dog, who now had returned to the rug.

The attendant simply answered, “My friend, THAT is not MY dog.”

Last Week of Module 6

This Sunday, March 27, will be the last day when you can turn in Module 6 work for full credit. After that, the maximum that you can receive will be half-credit. Also, March 27 is the last day for you to turn in Module 5 work.

Word of the Day: diktat

Pronunciation: (dik-TAT)

noun: 1. An order or decree imposed without popular consent.
2. A harsh settlement imposed upon a defeated party.

ETYMOLOGY: From German Diktat (command, order, dictation), from Latin dictatum (something dictated), from dictare (to dictate), frequentative of dicere (to say). Ultimately from the Indo-European root deik- (to show, to pronounce solemnly), which is also the source of words such as judge, verdict, vendetta, revenge, indicate, dictate, paradigm, interdict, and fatidic. Earliest documented use: 1922, in reference to the Treaty of Versailles of 1919, by Germany.

Joke of the Day

A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.

“I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool.”

So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, “I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?”

The guy grabs the microphone and says, “Why don’t we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!”